Like, seriously. This faerie has got to be as tired of me pulling him as I am of pulling him....what the hell lesson am I not getting that he needs to keep taking my ass down to Chinatown?
...don't answer that.
A reminder that closing myself off to others is just as negative as saying or thinking mean things about them. I have a hard time accepting that as true (I suppose what I really have a hard time accepting is that others really care about what's going on with me), but the Soul Shrinker assures me that it is.
I always know that this sort of thing works because I am in the same stage in my life and so I keep drawing the same cards. But, the Fee-Lion is new. He reminds me that there are little loose ends that I need to take care of, things that nag at me and keep me from the bigger works. He's a faerie challenger, and his little faerie face is very accusing. But as I pulled him out another card jumped out, so I kept it as a two-faerie day. Lys has graciously come to give me succor again, and I am thankful, because I have had about as much challenge as I can face alone. I think she came because I was brave enough to practice the viola just now. Ever since I learned to bow in my lessons I haven't practiced at home, because the viola is very loud and I am embarrassed to have my entire building and half of street hear (and I know they can, because some guys next door get together on the weekends to practice the guitar and I can hear *them* just fine). And I am at the point where I officially sound like a dying cow. I've really honestly been afraid to practice. After I did I spent at least five minutes going over what horrible things I imagine that my neighbors must be saying or thinking about being forced to listen to me play. What is wrong with me?? Thank heaven for meditation; not-thinking for 20 minutes a day truly is a blessing.
I am challenged, succored, and given a message. I think that's enough reflection for one day. Time to go make my first batch ever of egg noodles and relax!
ETA: There are people in the world who are the sort that make homemade pasta. Apparently, I am not one of those people.